Vote. Just Vote...VOTE!

“A simple understanding of statistics shows that my vote does not matter.”

This statement was made by Luke Banda, a 23 year old from Pennsylvania. This statement was published in an NPR article hoping to uncover the many reasons Americans don’t vote. This statement is technically correct, but still complete bullshit.

The article includes a few other rationalizations Americans have constructed in order to ease the guilt they must experience for failing to exercise the most important democratic duty. A person claims that it’s too difficult to stay informed (He must not know what the internet is). A Christian claims that to participate in politics goes against the teachings of the Bible (If that’s true, can someone inform Rick Santorum please?). A pacifist believes that by voting for a candidate, he will be “turn[ing] a blind eye” to the violence our nation’s Commander-in-Chief propagates. (Is there a difference between turning a blind eye and just sticking your head in the sand?).  Some insolent child doesn’t want to vote because it makes him more likely to be chosen for jury duty.

Perhaps the only legitimate reason for not voting in Tuesday’s election comes from a Native American, who hopes to assert the sovereignty of her tribal confederacy by not speaking her mind on Election Day.

However, the above quote is my favorite reason, in part because it is, statistically, more or less true. It is also one of the reasons most often cited (at least in my experience) for not voting. In fact, it is a fact I spent the last few years struggling with, before I ultimately decided assert my significance, register to vote, then request and mail in an absentee ballot.

In addition, these people are my favorite type of people, who rely on hard statistics and “real-world facts” not only to inform their life decisions, but to assert their superiority over all the other sheeple in the world who do things like own a television or who fail to maintain a stockpile of weapons and non-perishable foods in a bomb-shelter out back. (These people also have intense opinions (both for and against) about the ownership of a Prius).

It’s so easy to agree with them, too, because their arguments are so persuasive; it all seems so logical. I mean, they refer to things like “statistics.” They must have something, right?

But it’s mostly stupid, nonsensical pseudoscience masquerading as fact.

First, I introduce Immanuel Kant, an 18^th century Prussian thinker and writer, who spent most of his life giving reasons for why people should keep doing exactly what they already have been doing for the previous centuries. (He literally does this, generally reinforcing already established moral principles with reasoned arguments.) Key to Kant’s doctrine is the Universality Maxim which, simply, instructs an individual not to do something that, if everyone were to do this something, would result in a bad thing. Don’t cut in line because if everyone cut in line, the DMV would devolve into a chaotic mess (which might be a nice change of pace).

Imagine a scenario in which everyone chose not to vote. First of all, we should note the paradox that the “statistically insignificant” argument. As less people vote, their votes actually become more (statistically) significant. But if nobody voted, nothing would get done. No presidents would be elected; no decisions would be made. Based on Kant’s Universality Maxim, not voting is a bad thing.

But there is another counter-argument. What I find most fascinating about the “statistically insignificant” argument is that it just seems inhuman. Recognizing one’s insignificance and succumbing to that realization just seems so contrary to human nature. Regardless of what anyone believes, there is a fantastically high probability that nothing anyone does on this planet will amount to anything “statistically significant,” because – statistically speaking –a human being amounts more than a speck of dust resting on a marble floating through an impenetrable cloud of darkness.

But that doesn’t mean anyone should give up.

The great conquerors still set out to conquer, knowing full well that there was a high statistical probability that their empires would fall apart after their deaths. The great inventors still set out to invent, knowing full well that there was a high statistical probability that their inventions would become obsolete within the next few decades (or, if you work at Apple, the next week). And so the great citizens should set out to vote, to perform their civic obligations, even with the knowledge that they won’t (statistically) amount to anything (significant).

Has no one read The Myth of Sisyphus?